SOUTH GEORGIA (ON MY MIND)

So long-suffering-Dilly and I were discussing booking a holiday trip. And of course, the question is where should we go?

Well, obviously we have to be sensible. We're slap in the middle of a mammoth recession, and our esteemed government is making sweeping cuts that make the Texas chain saw massacre look like an episode of Friends.

If we tighten our belts any more, our top and bottom halves will simply separate at the waist and fall to the floor, flopping around and making a mess on the carpets at fortress Balham.

So naturally, Dilly was looking at the UK. Beautiful, but affordable.

Me, I was nose deep in a brochure on Antarctica. Because that's the kind of fiscally responsible, plan-for-tomorrow guy I am.

Yes, we'd have to re-mortgage the house. Yes, I'd have to become a career criminal (or investment banker, as they're sometimes known). Yes, long-suffering-Dilly might have to put on full make up and hang around on Tooting common by night (although I haven't actually broached that subject to her yet). But I'm sure she'd agree that it would totally be worth it.

Because there's something about the bottom of the world that gets under your skin and won't let go. Maybe it's the eerie silence, maybe it's the abundant and amazing wildlife that has no fear of humans because it has nothing to fear from them. But whatever it is, it's a powerful force. A force of nature, actually.

I reckon that's why the seal above looks so happy. Because he's living on what I consider to be the most idyllic spot on earth- South Georgia. And I'm determined that long-suffering-Dilly should be compensated for her long-sufferingness by seeing it just once.

That's what's going to happen. And to hell with the bank.

NOT A GOOD LOOK

We think of Antarctica as being the last pristine wilderness, and to a large extent it is. But signs of human damage are becoming more commonplace. The Albatrosses are dying in numbers as a result of illegal long line fishing, and washed up garbage is becoming more evident. It's a depressing sight to see.

This fur seal was modelling a piece of discarded rope like a tie, and we had to catch the critter and remove the rope before it became a real problem for him. This was surprisingly difficult, as seals are slippery, manoeverable, and have sharp teeth.

He didn't really want to cooperate, but it had to be done for his own good. Apart from anything else, a light blue tie was never going to work with those muted earth tones.

DAWN IN ANTARCTICA

Antarctica is without a doubt the coolest place in the world (pun fully intended). It's also, surprisingly, the driest. And the most inhospitable. It's a continent of superlatives. And it's really, really quiet. Only about 1000 people reside there at any one time, and they're all scientists.

For a photographer, there is quite simply nowhere better. The Antarctic constantly surprises you, not least with the colours it produces, some of which you will never have seen before. I kid you not.

This iceberg caught the first rays of the sun and turned bright yellow. It looked like an enormous floating pat of butter, and was one of the most stunning sights I've ever seen in my life. Three minutes later, though, the sun rose a little higher and the effect was lost.