CHIMP POLITICS

These two chimps were brilliant. One was clearly the brains of the outfit, while the other was slightly dimwitted, but provided the muscle.

They popped their heads round the tree, focussing on the alpha male further down the path on which I was standing with several other visitors and a couple of guides. The alpha male had his back to them, intent on winkling out some juicy shoots.

Realising that the alpha male was otherwise engaged, the smart one gave a signal, and the two of them grabbed sticks and charged down the path. A charging chimp is not to be messed with, particularly when wielding a club, so we humans moved aside to let them pass, although the slower amongst us did sustain minor cuts and bruises as Dimwit cleaved his way through us. Since they charged silently, the idea apparently was to make a sneak assault on the alpha while his back was turned.

Sadly for them, one of the minor cuts and bruises was sustained when a stick connected with the shin of a large American gentleman, who tumbled backwards off the path with a resounding crash and a terrified yell. This unfortunate moment raised the interest of the alpha male, who glanced round enquiringly, only to see the gruesome twosome barrelling towards him.

As the two usurpers realised that their cunning plot had been exposed, they threw the branches away, u-turned and strolled back the way they'd come, the picture of innocence. If it was possible for a chimp to casually whistle, they would undoubtedly have done so...

Like I said, chimps are brilliant.